Obamacare or Puppies?

Well since The Paisano won’t man up and print this article, I suppose I’ll just have to use it an excuse to finally post something on this blog for the first time in six months.

The challenge:  Write a 700 word article detailing the shortcomings of the more than one thousand pages of the delightful legislation affectionately referred to as Obamacare.  That means I have to play the bad guy and ignore all of the good things in this bill that also appear in Republican bills, which are roundly ignored.  I also have to limit the development of my arguments so that it will be concise enough for print.  I decided to have a little fun and come up with a piece about what I will do when I become President.

When I become President, every family will be required to purchase a puppy.  That’s right, a puppy.  Many studies conclude that puppies contribute to happiness and aid in diminishing stress.  The resulting health improvements cannot be denied.  Therefore it’s a logical conclusion that we, the omnipotent federal government, mandate that you, the ignorant peasant, spend your hard earned money in a manner that we, the good stewards of your tax dollars, deem appropriate.

If you don’t purchase the aforementioned puppy we will assess a penalty via the IRS that is not a tax but will be identified as such by the judicial system.  Of course labeling it a tax doesn’t really mean it is one.  We, the eternally benevolent federal government, have no legitimate means of coercing you to engage in commerce so we’re just going to pretend our nontax tax is a nonissue; but it’s the only power we can exploit to persuade you to purchase puppies.

You are going to have purchase a puppy for each of your family members.  Don’t worry; your parents can still sponsor your puppy until you’re 26 years old. Each of these puppies is going to have to be registered annually with the IRS to ensure continuing compliance.  Yes, the registration process will be arduous and the penalties real, but don’t let compliance affect your puppy selection.  The additional compliance efforts will provide jobs for compliance experts so you’ll be contributing to the expansion of the workforce.  The IRS is going to be upgrading and hiring new agents so you’ll be contributing to them as well.  Look at all of the job creation!

We’re also going to make sure that the tax benefits of puppy ownership stop at the company level to discourage private citizens from seeking their own puppies.  We’d much rather corporations and federal institutions make puppy decisions for you because we feel that they’re much more capable than you are of actively pursuing the appropriate puppy.

If you already own a puppy you’ll be able to keep that puppy!  While the privately purchased puppies will have to be purchased from within your own state, we’ll be able to provide you a government puppy from our own coffers staffed by our employees with all of the comforts, efficiency, and quality service you’ve grown accustomed to us providing.  The government puppy option will meet the specific criteria set forth by your state.  We’re going to ignore the fact that keeping up with each of the 50 states differing criteria is going to be a nightmare of epic proportions.  In an effort to combat this, we will provide you with a generic puppy that meets all of the criteria in every state.  If you do happen to lose your current puppy, you won’t be able to replace it with an identical one.  You’ll have to pony up and get a puppy that meets or exceeds all of the new standards set forth by us, the perpetually correct federal government.

In an effort to keep your puppy happy and healthy, you will be required to take good care of your puppy.  We are going to have a board of unelected experts handy to advise you as to the proper care of the puppy.

I hope you enjoy your new puppy.  It may not be the puppy that you want.  Hell, you may not want a puppy at all.  That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have one.  I should know.  I’m the President of the United States of America.

Now let’s talk about why this Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is a bad idea.

Entitlement Reform

So I happened upon this pretty little graph today.

I’m so tired of the president touting this “Buffett Rule” as the end all be all of tax reform.  This law accomplishes virtually nothing.  It adds such little new revenue for the government that it’s impact would go virtually unnoticed….by the government.  You know where this is really going to have an impact?  This will impact the capital available to people to actually generate wealth.  When I say that, I don’t mean simply help rich people get richer.  I mean that it’ll help everybody get richer.  When that money is utilized by the private market it is spent in the most efficient manner possible and accommodates the most individuals.  Private industry thrives on efficiency.  It’s so simple that it doesn’t even seem true, but it is.  The government thrives on bureaucracy.  The bigger it is, the more people it employs(with bloated wages and benefits) and the more money it wastes.  If you couple that with the simple fact that government is not tasked with creating wealth, you have a recipe for an economy in decline (see Greece and Spain).  The more money that they can pull from the private sector, the less money we actually have with which to be successful.

Of course this is totally a PR stunt.  I’m certain the President recognizes this.  It’s something that polls well because the public seems to accept the government as the referee who’s not only tasked with making sure that the game is played fairly, but that all teams are equally matched to compete.  I have news for you, that’s not how the government is supposed to work.  That’s not how our world works.  If that were true, why would we have international competitions for everything?  The World Cup, Olympics, Good Will Games, etc., aren’t designed to ensure that everybody is bringing the same thing to the table.  They exist to prove who has the superior team.  The referees are there to ensure that everybody plays by the same rules.  Their job is not to make sure the rules accommodate certain individuals more than others so that the final score is a tie.  That’s not what anybody wants.  That’s a road that ends with communism and history has proven time and again that state sponsored communism doesn’t work.

Now the question is simply how do we convey this message?  I’m not saying our President is a communist nor am I saying his idea is simply a communist idea.  I am saying that using taxes to legislate fairness goes much further to punish success than it does to help others be successful as well.

  • People need to be aware that this idea of pulling money away from folks who are most capable of using it to create wealth is foolish.
  • People need to be aware that making everybody poor isn’t the solution.
  • People need to be aware that there is no painless solution to our nation’s ills and that sacrifices are going to have to burden us all.

Who are you going to tell?  How would you package this message?

I’m Not Part of your “99%”

I’m really indifferent to the Occupy Wall Street movement in and of itself.  It’s a gathering of disaffected individuals who feel like their voices aren’t heard, that individually their powerless, and that despite their best efforts they will never be able to get a fair shake in life.  They point at greedy Republicans, Wall Street, and evil corporations as the cause of their plight.  They feel like the government isn’t doing enough to squelch these groups and make sure that people are happy and well maintained.


Great.  I can appreciate your sentiments.  I appreciate you wanting to make a change.  I appreciate you coming together to make your voices heard.


I don’t appreciate your messaging!  You claim to represent the 99%.  I am part of the 99% as well millions of Americans like me.  You don’t represent me.  You don’t represent anything I stand for.  You are the antithesis of what has historically made this country great.


You didn’t get voted into this position.  You weren’t appointed by any sort of elected body.  You have no divine endowment of power.  Quit trying to purport that you are representative of more than 300 million Americans.  The most recent polls about your popularity indicate that less than half of the nation agree with you and less than a third approve of your tactics.


I’m not even getting into how absolutely ridiculous your position is.  I’m not writing this particular piece to tell you why you are so incredibly wrong and so incredibly lucky to live in this great nation.  I’m writing this to tell you that you need to stop saying you represent me.


This is coming from a member of the actual 99% who is going to try like hell to get up to that elusive level of the 1%.  I guarantee I will do more to benefit society, create jobs, and generate wealth for this nation than you whiny blowhards.  It is probably too late for the older people in the movement to change, but I sincerely hope that the youth of this movement are able to mature and participate in the real world.


It is once again an election year and it is painfully obvious that no conservative candidate will ever be a mainstream media darling.  After the thorough vetting undergone by the remaining contenders, it’s amazing to me that the media continues to tout Obama is their Wonder Boy as being above the fray.  Not only did they fail to make the public aware of his shortcomings that allowed for his first election, but they continue force feed us the same partisan drivel that makes it virtually impossible to have an informed opinion.  How is it that a man with no executive experience, bare minimal legislative experience, no experience in the private sector, and nothing published during his tenure as a professor can become President of the most powerful nation in the world?  It boggles the mind.  Despite the shortcomings of the candidates for President from the Republican Party, you can at least say they’ve done something in their lives.  They might not be ideal, but at least they have some background.  

I’m ready to put this guy behind us.  I have little doubt that he will go down in history as one of the worst Presidents.  His cowardice is recognized the world over.  The only thing he has to his credit is the killing of Bin Laden.  Congrats!!!  Of course that made for a perfect photo opportunity and public relations dream.  The advertising of that event made much of the information gathered useless.  Good job.  You’re more concerned with your image than acquiring intelligence.  

I suppose that fits in with his commitment to transparency.  Transparency….where, does he feel it’s necessary to draw the line?  Is it important to allow people within you’re ranks to hemorrhage money?  Is it important to protect your Department of Justice from the evils of those who want answers to failed missions which left untold numbers of guns to drug cartels and left it’s fingerprints all over waves of violence?  Is it important to let the new Black Panther Party to intimidate voters?  Where does that commitment to transparency begin?  I would like to know.

It’s amazing how much the tone has changed.  Does anybody else remember the good old days when Obama was railing against Bush for high gas prices, adding trillions to the debt, and poor treatment of prisoners at Gitmo?  What has changed since then?  The party in the executive office and a significantly truncated timetable.  

I really wish the mainstream media would take a minute and reflect on the candidate for which they are rooting. He was quite possibly the worst candidate who ran for the job in 2008 and now they’re putting him back on that pedestal and doing their best to squash dissent.  

College Republicans at University of Texas at San Antonio

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